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Dear Daisy Nelle - 3 Months

Dear Daisy,

One of the saddest things, my darling girl, about your adventurous start in life, is that I have never had the time to sit here and talk enough about how wonderful you are.

Here you are, racing through your first year, and I've never written you a letter. I've never spoken to you and captured all the words I have said to you, as you sleep on me in the quiet dark. You will never have heard or understood them. 

But please know I have said them to you. Please know I have thought of you often. I have loved you with all of my heart. And I have surrendered to you completely. 

The Last Summer of Babyhood

Bill finishes preschool, or nursery as we've always called it, next week. I hadn't really thought about it too much. And I have to admit I am guilty of not thinking of Bill as much these days. When he was my one and only baby, his life was an obsession of mine. And, of course, it still is. But I have realised how hardy he is. How capable he is. And, in the most physical of ways, he doesn't need me anymore. 

Does that make sense?

Finding myself again #GoodMorningGreatDay #AD


Tropicana (3).jpg
One thing I’ve not been great at recently, is looking after myself, for obvious reasons. I’m now a mum of two, and I’ve been going through some exceptional circumstances with a baby in special care. 

I tend to come last at the moment, which is quite sad considering I gave birth just six weeks ago. I thought I’d be getting some rest and snuggling a newborn at home from the outset. But I spent the first six weeks and one day of her life in hospital and it’s been quite relentless. 

Now she’s home, it’s just a case of adjusting to her care. And getting into a routine as a proper family of four. Finally.

Tubes & Baby Steps

I haven't written on here in so very long. I find it hard. Not least because of time - why does it go so fast when you want it to slow down, and so slow when you want it to speed up? But also because I don't enjoy writing as much at the moment.

I sit down. I try and start. And then I feel exhausted only a paragraph in. Like I do now, I suppose. Filming is a little easier, because it's almost like having a friend to talk to and I just open my mouth and the words come, if a little awkwardly. But writing is my most favourite thing in the world. And it seems I can only really write if my heart is in it.

And that's not always the case right now.