1) Even though your Christmas tree was practically collapsing last year, under the weight of the hundreds of decorations you already own, suddenly you need LOTS MORE.
3) But the thought of writing Christmas cards feels like homework.
4) You don’t normally buy that much coffee, but all of a sudden it is your quest to hold a Starbucks red cup in your hand with a suitable background from which to photograph it from. *Uploads to Instagram: “Red cups are finally here! Woo!”*
5) The Christmas emojis are out in full-swing, Because everything is better said with a Santa face.
6) You’re ready to fight your corner over the best Christmas song of all time. Ahem…Mariah Carey…
7) The one present your child wants is the one present that is out of stock everywhere. Hatchimals – I’m looking at you.
8) You spend about three hours of your life (that you’ll never get back) untangling fairy lights.
9) The Christmas deals always seem to be on when you have exactly 61p in your bank account.
10) Your weekly food shops start to contain random additions such as chestnuts and After Eights. The latter of which will need repurchasing because you ate them absentmindedly while watching X Factor last weekend.
11) You begin to panic that all of the turkey will be sold out and you’ll ruin Christmas. Even though this has never happened before, ever.
12) You wonder just how many pigs in blankets is too many pigs in blankets and realise that there is no such thing as too many pigs in blankets, and buy 50.
13) You wear red lipstick. Because it’s dead festive. This also goes for glittery nail varnish and sometimes tinsel.
14) The work Christmas party suddenly becomes the social event of the year. Until someone suggests a seating plan.
15) The battle of the Christmas adverts is on. A boxer on a trampoline, a carrot, Mrs Claus (my personal favourite).
16) Ah, mulled wine. Drink it because it is officially the beverage of Christmas. All the time. It’s warm so the alcohol is pretty much burned off right?
17) Suddenly, festive prints have never been so appealing. Must buy Christmas socks. Snowman leggings. And find the perfect Christmas jumper that is both stylish and correctly defines me as a person.
18) It’s the only time of year that you ever Google: “Things to do with sprouts.”
19) It’s socially acceptable to hang fairy lights off everything. Like beds, windowsills and toddlers.
20) The idea of buying Christmas outfits for your pets has crossed your mind more than once.
21) You buy a ridiculously festive pair of Christmas pyjamas for your kids to open on Christmas Eve, with full knowledge that they will still be wearing them come June. We just won’t Instagram that though.
22) You wish for snow, every day, until it snows, and you’re blissfully happy when it does. But because you’re British you start whinging two hours later, because you’re cold, traffic is a nightmare and you’ve just fallen over.
23) You have sudden urges to watch Love Actually, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Holiday, Elf, Miracle on 34th Street and Home Alone 1 & 2, but not 3, because that kid is not Macaulay Culkin.
24) Suddenly everything tastes better when it tastes of Christmas. You buy Christmas sandwiches on your lunch-break. You seriously consider a Christmas dinner-themed pizza. Mince pie cookies? I shall buy them all. Coffee that doesn’t taste like coffee but actually cake – YES.
25) You remember that there are two types of people in the world – clearly defined by whether or not you have ever uttered the phrase: “But it’s still November!”