This is something that Bill (and the rest of us) have wanted to share for a long time.
We’re having a baby cow.
And by that I mean that we’re having another baby.
It’s been nine weeks since I saw a positive sign appear on a test. Seven since the sickness started. Six weeks since we moved out of our home (or barn, depending on how long you want this metaphor to continue), so that our nursery, amongst other things, could be built. Two weeks since I first heard the heartbeat. And merely a few hours since we met our baby on a screen for the first time.
I can understand that our choice of announcement is perhaps a little unorthodox. But Bill loves animals. Particularly cows. He has ever since he was a little baby himself. And I wanted this to be about him. I want him to look back and know how loved he was. How loved he is. I want him to feel excited. Overjoyed. Giddy. Special. And so we announced our news, his way.
I think that baby news is always such a wonderful thing. When I hear of friends growing their family, my heart swells every time.
But, for me, I wasn’t sure if I would have the chance to have another, once upon a time. I wasn’t sure if there would be another scan. Another time filled with morning sickness. Another time to enjoy flutters and kicks. Another baby to love.
When it was just me and my son, I was accepting of the fact that it could just be me and him forever.
When I met Mark (Cow) I thought I had a friend for life.
But it wasn’t long before I was knocked sideways. Because here was a man who wanted to be a part of our lives. For good.
In the past almost-two years, I have watched him pack up parts of another life. A life that seemed, to me, to be carefree, fun, adventurous. I still remember the first time he came to our house. I was so nervous for him to meet my 19 month-old son. I was so nervous for him to see the way we lived. Or our old patterned carpets. And faded wallpaper. I remember feeling very torn that night, sitting between these two men. One big and one small. Desperate for them to get on, so we might all be happy.
I never imagined this.
Mark has been around for over half of Bill’s life now. When Bill had a temperature, it was Mark who stayed up with him while I called NHS 111. When Bill turned two, or three, Mark was there to celebrate the day he was born, though he was never there to witness it. When there have been bills to pay, food to buy, adventures to take, Mark has been a provider.
He’s never once asked to be ‘Dad’. He’s respectful and never expects anything in return. But he means more to Bill than anyone would ever understand.
Our family, as a trio, is perfect in all of its flaws. It’s jumbled up, and put together, but I feel like it’s something stronger than superglue that keeps us together.
And now I get to give the man I love the label of ‘father’.
This little baby will bring us even closer. A bit of their mother, a bit of their father, a bit of their brother.
Baby cow is due April 2016.
And we are, as you can expect, over the moooooo-n.