Tuesday, 30 July 2013

The Get Lost Club

The nicest thing about having this blog and a little presence online is the amount of people who are there with real advice. I have, for a long time since having William, felt unhappy with my figure. Yes Charlotte, join the queue with thousands of other mums.

But I'm going away in September and, while I'd rather wear a burka than a bikini, I think I'd pass out from the sheer heat. I'm going to have to wear skimpy clothes, out of simple common sense. But I know my body isn't a lovely sight to see. I can barely look in the mirror these days, let alone expect Marge and Bill from Sussex to watch me amble down to the pool over the top of that morning's paper.

The simple fact is, I love my food. I've made excuses in the past, but I do. I love grub. I love a big plate of creamy pasta. Crusty bread and cheese makes my world go round. I eat lots of fresh food as I cook 90% of my family's meals from scratch, but I could do better. I could step away from the treat cupboard. I don't need half a packet of biscuits to dunk in my Saturday morning brew. In fact, I'm not even sure I need the sugar in that brew. Food has always been my go-to fix. I can rely on it to make me feel better or quell that boredom I have when Ste works late.

I've not been happy for most of this year. I felt stuck. I was miserable. So I changed this. 2013 has been all about change. I moved house, I pledged to post a blog post almost every day and saw my blog become more popular (which has never ceased to make me smile), I started saying yes to things instead of saying no, I forgave myself for the guilt I felt over leaving William and left it behind, I changed jobs, I work in Manchester, I have stopped wasting money on things I don't need and I'm writing a book. It sounds exhausting when I think it's only the end of July, but the year is still young and I'm adding my weight to that list.

So I'm making a big change. I was full of ideas of 'starting tomorrow' but that ethic almost always means that tomorrow never comes, so today I've had a toasted english muffin (pre-decision) and a glass of orange juice, one coffee with a sugar and big bowl of lettuce, tomato and cucumber dressed with lemon juice. There's a wholemeal ham sandwich sat in front of me - Stephen likes to pack me lunches made for 12 - and usually I'd eat that first and faff with the salad, but I'm feeling full. I think I'm going to have my yoghurt and a nice pint of water and crack on with this book of mine, in the last half-hour of lunch.


But first, if you are a weight-loss champ - why are you hiding your knowledge? Tell me how to be like you. Or you are in the same Fat Boat as me, then maybe we can be in this together? Everyone loves a bit of group-whinging and, to be honest, I need someone to talk me out of eating all the pies.

I just want to feel better about myself and not try and present myself as a second-class citezen just because I'm not a size eight. I'm not sure I ever will be either, but I want to walk through the streets of Manchester and hold my head tall and not cower or hope my oversized bag will make me appear smaller. The fact is, once you've had a baby, it's easy to let the 'I've just had a baby' excuse rude for a bit. But I'm in that awkward position where my son is 13 months and I'm less post-baby and more food baby.

I need to do this. I have to consider the future of our second baby after all - not sure Ste fancies a bit of Jabba the Hut of an evening and that throws any possible future conception out the window.

*shudder*

10 comments:

  1. Ahh I know how you feel! I shed 3 stone a few years ago after creeping up to a size 16/18 and feeling thoroughly unhappy! I have a post on it here if you fancy a read:

    http://curls-and-swirls.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/my-weight-loss-story.html

    After having Oscar now though, I'm currently 1 stone above my pre-baby weight and although I'm eating healthily, the weight is not budging at all. Think it's going to need exercise for this to shift!

    Good luck :) x

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  2. I totally empathise Hun. I'd been wanting to lose weight for ages and was thoroughly miserable. I joined weight watchers in May and have so far lost 20lbs, on top of 13lbs I lost between January-May trying to be a bit healthier. It feels so good once you get going and the lbs start falling off. I've blogged a bit about it which you might have seen. I'd really recommend ww online as its helped me be really focused and actually acknowledge how much food I'm eating each day. I'm still trying to lose more weight so I'm totally up for supporting each other through this! I've fallen off the band wagon the last couple of weeks big time. Good luck to us!!!! xxx
    PS sorry for the essay comment...x

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  3. Hi Charlotte, I know exactly how you feel. Well, maybe not exactly but I am in the same position. I really want to lose weight. I am currently a bottom size 12/14 and top size 16/18. My current weight is 182 lbs and I am really unhappy. Being at home all day with George doesn't help. In an office for example I would have a little discipline, the fridge isn't just a stone throw away etc. It would be great to support each other. I blog about my weight loss on http://www.germangirlinlondon.co.uk/ .

    Nadine xx

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  4. I know that feeling. Not the post-baby, I have no baby, but not feeling comfortable in your own skin. A routine trip to the docs in February confirmed what I'd put to the back of my mind - I'd out on nearly 4 stone in 2 years through getting in a relationship and 'settling'. I immediately joined Slimming World and have lost a stone since then. Slow? Yes, it is slow progress. But I view it as a lifestyle change, not a race. I think it would suit you - all meals made from scratch, quick and easy options to not eat into your time with William, no measuring and best of all...YOU ARE ALLOWED PASTA. Huzzah.
    Well done for being brave and admitting your unhappiness so publicly, and also kudos for deciding to do something about it. Your followers will be with you every step of the day and I really look forward to seeing your progress.
    GO TEAM.
    (Longest comment ever....over) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. This was so refreshing to read, mainly because I've been feeling the same. I also love my food, and I hate that. I just can't resist it.
    We're going on holiday in just over 3 weeks and the thought of going swimming makes me feel sick, but I can't not do it because I don't want to let my boys down.
    I'm also annoyed because I think my weight is the reason I am struggling in this heat.

    I'm up for a support group, or for someone to come and staple my mouth shut xx

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  6. Charlotte Taylor1 August 2013 20:27

    We should really start something. Things are so much easier when we do it together. I want to be slimmer so badly. :( xx

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  7. Charlotte Taylor1 August 2013 20:27

    Thank you lovely! Gosh I hope I can do it and don't relapse. I'm so desperate to feel good in my skin again. SO DESPERATE. And I LOVED your long comment. Made me smile to know I have people like you cheering my lard arse on! xx

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  8. Charlotte Taylor1 August 2013 20:27

    Hello Nadine. Oh gosh, I really want to lose weight too. It's so hard. I'd love to support you too. There seem to be quite a few ladies who would be up for a regular team update. I'm popping across to your blog now! xx

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  9. Charlotte Taylor1 August 2013 20:29

    You have done so well lovely. The photo of you in your dress at Oliver's christening was gorgeous. I'm nowhere near you in size - I'm jealous. I'm completely up for supporting each other if you are still? xx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Charlotte Taylor1 August 2013 20:31

    Thank you lovely. I've read your post on your amazing weight loss. I'm so envious. I feel so low at the moment. I need to try harder I think. :( I'm sure that last one stone will go before you know it. I felt like I lost weight continuously for about six months after having Will. xx

    ReplyDelete

Thank you if you are one of those lovely people who take the time to comment. I really do appreciate you.

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